Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
vagina is talking i cant
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
