We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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