Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
