last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He passed out mid-signature
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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