How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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