Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
