girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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