Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
