remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
