connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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