hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
