i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips