My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.