Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.