I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
