Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I got inside last night via doggy door
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