you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
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Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
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My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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