My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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