Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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