Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
