I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
