I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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