i was rollin on her like bob the builder
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
