I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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