ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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