Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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