Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
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He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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