david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
