i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
this beer tastes like vomit already
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize