If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
