remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
