It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
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