She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
so let's talk penis.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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