I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
