Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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