the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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