that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
