the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
