i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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