She is in my trunk
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
