Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
the room spins SO much faster in panama
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
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