I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
