Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
