brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
