I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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