I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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