You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
