Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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