Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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