she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
