My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
