double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
