I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
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