3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
