what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
