he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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