she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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