imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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